Building a meaningful, fulfilling, and loving marriage until death separates you, requires hard work, wisdom, and understanding. The Holy Scriptures provide us with valuable guidance on the essential elements of a loving relationship that is founded on God's love and truths.
1. GOD's LOVE
"Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins." 1 Peter 4:8
“But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8
Praying together as a couple and asking God to fill you with His love can teach you how to show Christ's love that forgives all sins. It can also help you focus on your partner's 5 Love Languages and fulfill their needs.
Regularly praying together is one of the most effective ways a couple will experience spiritual transformation and be fully transformed into the image of Christ and brought into His fullness.
Application: Ask the Holy Spirit to teach you how to love your spouse deeply with the same love that God loves you. It's understandable that there may be quirks or idiosyncrasies (pet peeves) that cause frustration in a marital relationship, but with Adonai's unfailing love, you will learn the power of His love to help you overcome them.
Application: Ask the Holy Spirit to teach you how to love your spouse deeply with the same love that God loves you. It's understandable that there may be quirks or idiosyncrasies (pet peeves) that cause frustration in a marital relationship, but with Adonai's unfailing love, you will learn the power of His love to help you overcome them.
2. WHOLESOME COMMUNICATION
"Watch the way you talk. Let nothing foul or dirty come out of your mouth. Say only what helps, each word a gift." Ephesians 4:29 MSG
"Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry." James 1:18 NLT
"There is more hope for a fool than for someone who speaks without thinking." Proverbs 29:20 NLT
Constant and respectful communication is vital for a healthy and fulfilling relationship, surpassing mere infatuation or emotional attraction. Life is filled with difficulties and challenges, and it is through intentional communication that couples can navigate these together. Even in times of disagreement, committed partners strive to communicate effectively and find common ground.
Choosing your words thoughtfully and with care demonstrates a genuine interest in your partner and their feelings. In a marriage, it is crucial to avoid using offensive language or cursing at each other, as it can erode the love and respect between partners. To ensure respectful and wholesome communication, T.H.I.N.K. before you speak.
Application: Start today by making a commitment to incorporate the T.H.I.N.K. model in relationships:
3. SEEING THE BEST IN YOUR MATE
“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s [spouse's] eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?" Matthew 7:3 NIV
In my early years of marriage, it was very easy to spot the flaws (weaknesses) in my spouse instead of acknowledging my own. How do we remove the log from our own eye as Jesus tells us in this verse? By asking our Lord Jesus to help you stop imposing your flawed perception, criticism, and judgment onto them. With the help and guidance of the Holy Spirit, you can learn to focus on the positive qualities (gold) in your spouse instead of focusing on their faults (dirt). This shift in perspective will improve your marital relationship and help prevent trivial conflicts.
Application: Create a list of 20 to 100 positive qualities that you admire and appreciate about your spouse. Reflect on the character traits that initially drew you to them.
4. SUPPORTIVENESS
"Do not be arrogant toward the branches; but if you are arrogant, remember that it is not you who supports the root, but the root supports you." Romans 11:18
"For the eyes of the Lord move to and fro throughout the earth that He may strongly support those whose heart is completely His." 2 Chronicles 16:9a
"Now we who are strong ought to bear the weaknesses of those without strength and not just please ourselves." Romans 15:1
As a couple, it's vital to create a safe and supportive home environment, especially if you have children. As per these scriptures, being supportive is a character trait of God. He pledges to support you if you have a heart that is completely His. One of the strongest ways you can be supportive of each other is to be emphatic, Another word for empathy is compassion. Ask the Lord Jesus to help you see your spouse as He sees them and to treat them as He treats you.
"Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry." James 1:18 NLT
"There is more hope for a fool than for someone who speaks without thinking." Proverbs 29:20 NLT
Constant and respectful communication is vital for a healthy and fulfilling relationship, surpassing mere infatuation or emotional attraction. Life is filled with difficulties and challenges, and it is through intentional communication that couples can navigate these together. Even in times of disagreement, committed partners strive to communicate effectively and find common ground.
Choosing your words thoughtfully and with care demonstrates a genuine interest in your partner and their feelings. In a marriage, it is crucial to avoid using offensive language or cursing at each other, as it can erode the love and respect between partners. To ensure respectful and wholesome communication, T.H.I.N.K. before you speak.
Application: Start today by making a commitment to incorporate the T.H.I.N.K. model in relationships:
- Is what I'm about to say TRUE?
- Is what I'm about to say HELPFUL?
- Is what I'm about to say INSPIRING?
- Is what I'm about to say NECESSARY?
- Is what I'm about to say KIND?
If you have nothing true, helpful, inspiring, necessary, or kind to say, then keep it to yourself!
“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s [spouse's] eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?" Matthew 7:3 NIV
In my early years of marriage, it was very easy to spot the flaws (weaknesses) in my spouse instead of acknowledging my own. How do we remove the log from our own eye as Jesus tells us in this verse? By asking our Lord Jesus to help you stop imposing your flawed perception, criticism, and judgment onto them. With the help and guidance of the Holy Spirit, you can learn to focus on the positive qualities (gold) in your spouse instead of focusing on their faults (dirt). This shift in perspective will improve your marital relationship and help prevent trivial conflicts.
Application: Create a list of 20 to 100 positive qualities that you admire and appreciate about your spouse. Reflect on the character traits that initially drew you to them.
4. SUPPORTIVENESS
"Do not be arrogant toward the branches; but if you are arrogant, remember that it is not you who supports the root, but the root supports you." Romans 11:18
"For the eyes of the Lord move to and fro throughout the earth that He may strongly support those whose heart is completely His." 2 Chronicles 16:9a
"Now we who are strong ought to bear the weaknesses of those without strength and not just please ourselves." Romans 15:1
As a couple, it's vital to create a safe and supportive home environment, especially if you have children. As per these scriptures, being supportive is a character trait of God. He pledges to support you if you have a heart that is completely His. One of the strongest ways you can be supportive of each other is to be emphatic, Another word for empathy is compassion. Ask the Lord Jesus to help you see your spouse as He sees them and to treat them as He treats you.
Application: Ask your spouse today, "What's one way I can be more supportive of you?
5. STEADFAST FAITH
"And it is impossible to please God without faith. Anyone who wants to come to Him must believe that God exists and that He rewards those who sincerely seek Him. Hebrews 11:6
"So then faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God." Romans 10:17
"And it is impossible to please God without faith. Anyone who wants to come to Him must believe that God exists and that He rewards those who sincerely seek Him. Hebrews 11:6
"So then faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God." Romans 10:17
At the end of the day, we must strive daily to do our best, and trust God to do the rest. This is especially true in a marriage relationship, where our trust in God is crucial when facing difficult seasons such as financial struggles, health issues, unexpected losses, or personal crises.
To build steadfast faith, it is important for couples to unite and seek God through prayer, while trusting in Him when facing hardships. You will develop steadfast faith as a couple if you devote time every day to hear the Lord's voice by reading the Scriptures. When things are not immediately clear, it is important to overcome doubt by believing that God will provide for you and is working for your good. As the great heroes of faith have taught us, we must rely on our faith in God rather than solely depending on ourselves or our own understanding.
Application: Four ways to grow in faith as a couple.
1. Start and finish your day with gratitude and prayer. Express your thanks to God for His wonderful and undeserved blessings by thinking of five specific things you are grateful for as soon as you wake up. Then, speak to God truthfully and share whatever is weighing on your heart in Jesus' name. When you pray with your spouse at the beginning of the day, inquire, "What's something specific that you would like me to pray for?"
2: Make time to read the Holy Scriptures daily. Meditate and reflect upon the living words spoken by the Holy Spirit as you read the Bible. Write down any insights or revelations in a journal and revisit them throughout the day.
3. Get in fellowship with other followers of Jesus. In Matthew 18:20 Jesus tells us; "For where two or three are gathered together in My name, there Am I in the midst of them."
4. Seek to serve. Have you ever experienced the joy of doing something kind for another person? It's not just a fleeting feeling of happiness; it actually has a positive impact on your emotional and mental well-being when you serve others. There are many ways to help others, such as assisting your spouse with a task, running an errand for a neighbor, volunteering to serve in a church ministry or at a community center, donating to a charity, visiting a sick friend at the hospital, spending time with someone who has suffered a loss, or delivering a meal to a family in need. As Jesus taught us, serving others is the way to be great in the eyes of God.
Application: Four ways to grow in faith as a couple.
1. Start and finish your day with gratitude and prayer. Express your thanks to God for His wonderful and undeserved blessings by thinking of five specific things you are grateful for as soon as you wake up. Then, speak to God truthfully and share whatever is weighing on your heart in Jesus' name. When you pray with your spouse at the beginning of the day, inquire, "What's something specific that you would like me to pray for?"
2: Make time to read the Holy Scriptures daily. Meditate and reflect upon the living words spoken by the Holy Spirit as you read the Bible. Write down any insights or revelations in a journal and revisit them throughout the day.
3. Get in fellowship with other followers of Jesus. In Matthew 18:20 Jesus tells us; "For where two or three are gathered together in My name, there Am I in the midst of them."
4. Seek to serve. Have you ever experienced the joy of doing something kind for another person? It's not just a fleeting feeling of happiness; it actually has a positive impact on your emotional and mental well-being when you serve others. There are many ways to help others, such as assisting your spouse with a task, running an errand for a neighbor, volunteering to serve in a church ministry or at a community center, donating to a charity, visiting a sick friend at the hospital, spending time with someone who has suffered a loss, or delivering a meal to a family in need. As Jesus taught us, serving others is the way to be great in the eyes of God.
Luke 22:24-26: A dispute also arose among them as to which of them was considered to be greatest. 25 Jesus said to them, “The kings of the Gentiles lord it over them; and those who exercise authority over them call themselves Benefactors. 26 But you are not to be like that. Instead, the greatest among you should be like the youngest, and the one who rules like the one who serves.
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